i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye




i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police


wait bop it only goes to the next action if you actually do the one before it


Dolphins are straight up murdering to get high dolphins are piece of shit


*tips unlit cigarette* m’taphor






Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???

Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.

Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”

we use names


JOHN: hey Dad… i’m 18 now!

JOHN: but i’ll always be your kid, huh?

i know it’s late but i blame this. also that cake’s probably not safe to eat john…


u look like the kinda person who doesnt give pencils back

I’m comin’ out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine


ooh a friendship bracelet!!! oh my it’s silver, you really shouldn’t have. wait uh it’s a little tight 
"you’re under arrest sir"


Calliope Dressup

She’s so happy dressing up as a troll. c: Happy 4/13!









Delphine LaLaurie was a sadistic socialite who lived in New Orleans. Her home was a chamber of horrors. On April 10, 1834, a fire broke out in the mansion’s kitchen, and firefighters found two slaves chained to the stove. They appeared to have started the fire themselves, in order to attract attention. The firefighters were lead by other slaves to the attic, where the real surprise was. Over a dozen disfigured and maimed slaves were manacled to the walls or floors. Several had been the subjects of gruesome medical experiments. One man appeared to be part of some bizarre sex change, a woman was trapped in a small cage with her limbs broken and reset to look like a crab, and another woman with arms and legs removed, and patches of her flesh sliced off in a circular motion to resemble a caterpillar. Some had had their mouths sewn shut, and had subsequently starved to death, whilst others had their hands sewn to different parts of their bodies. Most were found dead, but some were alive and begging to be killed, to release them from the pain. LaLaurie fled before she could be bought to justice – she was never caught.

Holy shit this is real.

If you don’t think female psychopathic sadists arent the most terrifying members of history….you’re very VERY wrong.

I thought this was just someone american horror story made up omfg

This is horrifying.

The best part is that Nicholas Cage bought the house this all took place in

If you’re a fan of ghost adventures i believe they id an episode there as well.



I was messing around on the new Paradox Space webpage and I thought “Hmm, I wonder if there is some easter egg for entering /413 to the end of the url” and when I hit enter I was met by these two!

Equius! You poor thing! what happened to your computer?!

i did something similar except



If you’re battling a mental illness and didn’t want to wake up this morning but did anyways, you’re a motherfucking badass. Because living with a mental illness is hard and I’m damn proud of you for still being here and fighting. You’re metal as hell and tough as nails. So keep on fighting, you kickass Viking warrior. You can win this.

this doesn't even have a purpose anymore
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yo yo yo find your way to go